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Why Is Self-forgiveness So Damn Hard?

The end of life is the most common time for people to embrace forgiveness fully. Perhaps the dying is gifted with a perspective that eludes most of us as we busily scurry through life, making plans and chasing goals. Maybe those freed from a relentless obsession with the future see more clearly the delicate and…


Make Forgiveness Your New Year’s Intention

Want to lose weight? Find your dream job? Improve your relationships? Learn to love yourself more? Be a better boss, parent, friend, partner? Forgiveness might be just where you need to start. I am casting a wide net here, I know. Claiming that learning to forgive will help you lose weight might sound like hyperbole, but…


A Simple Practice for the Holidays

The holidays are a special time. We reflect, celebrate, and share in more meaningful ways. We go to office parties, see old friends, and visit family. For some, this is an opportunity for joy and connection. For others, it brings up unhealed hurts.  So, as you prepare to spend time with those who compel you…


Finding Our Shared Humanity

Imagine how much suffering you would have had to endure to allow hatred to permeate your heart—your very being. Not the fleeting indignation extended to the absent-minded driver, but the kind of contempt that compels people to destroy lives. Pause and imagine what your childhood would have been like to make you so fundamentally different…


Gratitude and Forgiveness

Absolute forgiveness is a state in which we perceive, beyond doubt, there is nothing to forgive. When we are filled with love and gratitude for everything that has led to this moment, we have an instinctive understanding that there are no mistakes. We develop a deep self-compassion and a limitless sense of love. We come…


Managing Anger in the Forgiveness Process

Anger is an integral part of the forgiveness process because it illuminates the stories we have about the injustices we perceive. As we raise our awareness, we can learn a great deal about what we can forgive and begin to free ourselves from anger that disrupts our lives. What is Anger? Anger is a universal…


Is Regret a Bad Thing?

Forgiveness begins when we realize we are suffering because of something that happened in the past. Forgiving others is usually triggered by the pain associated with anger or resentment. Forgiving ourselves starts when we become aware of regret. Regret, or guilt, is a feeling of sadness or disappointment associated with something we have done. Maybe…


What Will You Create in 2018?

Whether we like it or not, our circumstances are most often determined by our actions. Human beings have an inexplicable capacity to fool ourselves. We tell ourselves, “I will get in shape in the new year.” Or, “I will move past the pain of that failed relationship…abuse…addiction…hurtful action,” only to end another year in the…


What Lies Beyond Forgiveness?

We appear to live in an unforgiving world. There are several reasons for this. Many do not understand what forgiveness really is. They falsely believe it is about the other person or that if they offer clemency, they put themselves at risk. Others don’t know the benefits of true forgiveness. Still, others forgive some things…


Stepping Stones to Forgiveness

Gazing back at where I’ve been I see a path dotted with stones. They form an impeccable passageway through jungles and deserts, darkness and light. When I think back, I remember how precarious each step seemed. Some stones swayed, others seemed just out of reach. I stalled on some, staying so long by body grew weary….

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